lots of work to do. today I dont know how im feeling . I get really upset with myself when I come home after school and just go crazy and eat little bits of everything. Like half my moms cracker, 3 chips, another half cracker... 2 waffles.. 180 calories for two.. there blueberry flax so thaats not horrible. I went tanning today after school.. dont tell me its bad cause I really don't give a fuck. I hate how my weight fluxuates so much like this morning I was 145.. and when i step on the scale right now... 147, the other day i was one 143 three in the morning after going to bed at 148.2.. I wanna get outta these damn 40's! Im so sick of seeing them.. but maybe I just want to get out of these 145 and aboves.. I can live with 144 but I will be happy with 139 Can it be done? I don't know. I ate some food today..
Breakfast: Yogurt 100
Lunch: Cucumber and Celery+1tbsp of peanut butter.. My dad insisted I take a protein with me.. 125 and sushi...cali rolls from the cafe.. I wasnt even hungry.. 255
Stupid fucking choice of the day: A screamer.. It was small. but why oh why did I finish it . Why oh why did I even get it .. Its soft icecream and slurpee.. im going to say 500.. just guessing. there not like huge its like ugh I doint now. its probably the same as the macdonlads oero mcflurry.
Afterschool Snack : Wafffles 180
dear god im a whale ! I'm off to the gym right now ! 1160
your going to bed with no dinner tonight. and you better work off 800 calories at least at the gym.
Ugh im so sick of myself. I think I'll just starve this weekend. its easy on weekends.
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